Why my Kids are Like Pirates

4 Nov

A quick online search brings up the definition of a pirate as some who attacks and robs ships at sea, robs and plunders and many colorful synonyms.  After an exhausting week and coming home to a house that looked like it had been looted, I come to the conclusion… my kids are pirates.

  • They ransacked my closet to find the “right” shoes for a game of dress up.
  • They pillaged my bathroom drawer to use my good perfume like air freshener- yep, can you say $75 Lysol!
  • They hide their secret treasures- half eaten lollipops, underpants, Happy Meal toys- in the cushions of the couch.
  • The robbed me of my extra hour of sleep this morning by getting up 30 minutes before they would have typically gotten up.
  • They plundered my purse for my personal items and then hid them in their toy kitchen, then walk around the house gloating and saying things like “Can’t find your keys, can you?” or “Mommy lost her sunglasses AGAIN!” followed by an evil laugh.
  • Watch out because the little guy has started flicking booger bombs (according to him this is a better choice than eating them- I reminded him that tissues are the best choice).
  • They prefer to eat food that has been impaled on a stick of some kind- tooth pick, chopstick, Popsicle stick, etc.
  • You can’t understand half the things the little one says.
  • They stink.

Well, that’s it.  Time to try and dig the rest of the treasures out of the couch and find a new hiding spot for my perfume.  What thinks have your loved one’s done lately that make you question your sanity?

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